Annoying things people say: GRANDMA EDITION

As people get older, they start to lose a lot of senses. They lose their hearing, their eyesight, and then some people completely lose the ability to hold their tongue. My granny says whatever inappropriate comments come to mind, but we love her for it.

Granny: Oh Nikita you're looking so good!

Me: Ah thanks Dadima...

Granny: Do you want a chocolate?

Me: Oh I met ***** yesterday...
Granny: I don't like that girl.

Granny: Please, have some more!

Me: No no, Dadima, it was delicious but I can't eat anymore.

Granny: What, you don't like my food?

Granny: You know your sister has gotten fat!

Me: Tasha is so skinny!

Granny: Ya, but she's put on weight.

Lady: Hi Bhindoo, how are you?

Granny: Sorry, I don't remember you...

Lady: I used to be the secretary at the office.

Granny: Oh yes! I couldn't recognise you because you got so fat.

Granny: You've gotten fat hey. Now come have lunch.
Tasha: No, you just said I'm fat!
Granny: Noooo I didn't say that.. you must eat.

In the summer...
Granny: Why have you gotten so dark? You used to be so fair

Annoying things people say #2

A few months ago I had a Modern Family moment when I triumphantly strut into hospice to release my jeans into the wild. My jeans (and even the jeggings) started getting really saggy at the thighs giving me the attractive silhouette of a dumpy middle-aged woman. Excited about getting rid of these monstrosities, I phoned my parents to share the good news.

Me: Dad, I got rid of all my jeans. They don't fit anymore and look ridiculous! I took a whole bunch of clothes down to hospice today.

Dad: You shouldn't have given away your clothing.

Me: Why?

Dad: You'll need it when you put the weight back on again.

I love my dad, but that sort of demeaning honesty is so uncalled for.

In these situations you need to stand up for yourself and explain why you need support rather than judgement. In Modern Family, Cam told Mitchell that he needed to throw out his jeans because if he still had them they would always be a crutch - a back up plan if he put on weight again. It's also somewhat of a cathartic experience - a way of letting go of your fat pants memories and embracing your new lifestyle.

I am now the proud owner of size 12 jeans - a size I haven't fit into since my teens :)

The Joys of Adulthood

Sometimes being an adult is hard.

For instance, when you have to come home to let the plumber in because your damn geyser is leaking. And of course, you're home now, there's no way you're going to get back in the car and brave Sandton traffic to go to gym. So instead, you put on a sports bra and short shorts (you're at home, ain't nobody looking at that muffin top now) and flip through the 4 channels that local tv has to offer.

You land on Days Of Our Lives and realise that ABSOLUTELY NOTHING has changed in the plot in the last 10 years. Hope and John are once again imprisoned by diabolical Stefano Dimera (I mean, really? You're freaking cops, how do you manage to get captured so many times?!). For a moment you contemplate how sad your life is for knowing all these characters and their backstories... but you shrug it off and continue to work out in front of the telly - doing bicep curls and shoulder presses with little weights.
And then it dawns on you... that you have mutated... into a desperate housewife.

To be fair, when I conveyed this story to a friend, he said I could only be labelled a desperate housewife if I had started hitting on the plumber.

Annoying things people say #1

It was a sunny day in Durban when I scanned my tag at a new gym.

Trainer: Is this you? 

Me: Yes, why? 

Trainer: Are you sure?  

Me: Uhhh... yes? Why? 

Trainer: Your face looks so fat here!

When you lose those oh-so-squeezable cheeks and double chin, people really start to notice your weight loss. I understand people want to compliment me, but there's a line between being complimentary and being deeply offensive. I do LOVE how my face shape has changed, but I have to constantly remind myself that there was absolutely nothing wrong with how my face used to look. Fat or skinny, you have to love yourself and I love that old face. That face made friends. That face found love. That face has been with me for an amazing 25 years.

So no matter what douche bag trainers and colleagues say, I love my face. Fat or skinny :)

Getting out of a workout rut

We've all been there... dragged your butt to the gym for the fourth day in a row and staring at that infernal treadmill with burning hatred in your eyes.

I often get in a rut of going to gym and doing the same workout day after day without any real enthusiasm. Last week I had the flu and couldn't go to gym for a whole week. When I finally got back into it, I had a renewed excitement for my workout routine. I could push myself harder because my body had had time to fully recover.

I'm not saying ditch the gym and stuff your face on the couch, I'm saying mix up your routine and let yourself recover. Take a long walk, go swimming, or go to a stretching class on your rest days.

Welcome!

It was almost a year and a half ago when I started my journey. I made the commitment to lose weight and keep it off. I've lost 20kgs, but the struggle doesn't end at changing your eating habits and exercising more... there are much greater emotional factors to deal with. This blog is about my transition – eating better, exercising, finding healthy solutions to boredom and stress – and, most of all, coming to terms with the new and old me. Welcome! I'm glad we can continue this journey together.