Food Addiction

I realise what I posted two days ago was incredibly de-motivating, and I wish I could retract my statements and say it's all a lie - but I can't. The truth is, every now and then you will feel worthless, you will feel unmotivated, you will feel like giving up - and that's okay! We're human beings and these are normal feelings. I think what I've learnt is that you have to push through those feelings to get to the bigger issues - what is the real cause of my feelings of helplessness?

The way I've been viewing food is like alcoholism - one little slip-up and you descent into the foul depths of despair and cake. Food CAN be an addiction. It can make you lie awake at night pondering about pizza or chocolate, or pizza AND chocolate, or chocolate ON pizza... the list goes on. The mind can be a terrible thing - simultaneously giving you junk food cravings and feelings of desperation and helplessness. In my mind, I'm still a slave to the addiction - constantly beating down the sugar monster that dwells beneath. In reality, this is only half true - yes, every day is a struggle - but, you lost 20 kilos, bitch! I always fail to remember just how far I've come from what I used to be.

In an attempt to meld my old lifestyle with my new one, I'm going to make some changes. I'm going to pick one night of the week where I can completely let go - don't worry about gym, stay out late, drink (although maybe stay away from the neat tequila shots). At the same time, I'm going to try to give myself a break and stop feeling guilty every time I miss a gym session - I'm not going to let fears of reverting to my old chubby-cheeked self ruin my life now :)