The Hunchback of Northern Johannesburg

I've always had problems with posture. It's often attributed to a lack of self confidence - you hunch your shoulders to hide yourself. I suppose being overweight for 25 years has that effect.

In grade 3, my school principle (lovely woman apart from the spacial boundaries) would pull my shoulders back when she passed me in the halls.

From the day I started personal training, my trainer would tell me to stick my chest out and pull my shoulders back. If I don't, hello massive man traps.

In spinning, same story. Relax your shoulders. Yoga? Relax your shoulders, sit up tall. 

I'm really trying to get rid of this Quasimodo hump. When I stretch to touch my toes, I fully resemble the gentle giant from Notre Dame. 

I've noticed it a lot more recently. Not sure if I'm hunching even more or if I've simply become more aware of it. When I eventually notice how slouched my shoulders are, I can't believe I'm not mistaken for Igor more often.

I've asked many trainers what I can do to improve my posture and the advice remains constant - you need to actively pull your shoulders back and tuck your tail bone in. This is so much easier said than done but, short of taping my entire upper body, it's the only option. 

Recipe: One Pot Bean Bowl

It's been over a year since I started doing Meatless Mondays and I've really enjoyed the challenge of cooking veggie meals that don't involve the Holy Trinity (Pizza, Pasta and Potatoes!) Sometimes I spend hours making homemade falafels and hummus, and some days I just need a quick, easy meal after a long day at work. This is one of those recipes. I literally chucked some tins and spice in a pot and called it dinner. 

One Pot Bean Bowl

Tomato & Bean Sauce:

• 1 tin chopped tomato 
• 1 tin black beans
•  5 sundried tomatoes, chopped
•  1 tsp tomato paste
• 1 tsp chopped garlic
•  1 fresh chili, chopped
• 1 tsp cumin powder
• 1 tsp coriander powder
• 1 tsp sugar 
• handful of fresh basil and coriander, chopped

Method:

• Put all the ingredients in a small pot and bring to the boil. 
• Once boiling, turn down the heat and simmer for 15mins, stirring occasionally. 
• That's it! Serve with brown rice, lettuce and avocado.
  

Recipe: Mango Chicken Pasta Salad

Everyone loves convenience meals (especially from Woolworths) but they are DAMN pricey and full of hidden fats and sugar. One of my favs is their mango chicken pasta so I've re-created a (slightly) healthier version at home. This recipe makes one perfect single serving, enjoy! :)

Woolies Copycat Mango Chicken Pasta Salad with sweet curry dressing

Ingredients:

• 1 cup raw wholewheat pasta
• 1/2 cup cooked chicken, diced
• 1/2 cup mango, diced
• 2 celery sticks, finely chopped
• 1 tbs pumpkin seeds

For the dressing:

• 2 tbs fat free yogurt
• 1 tbs mayonnaise
• 1 tsp apricot jam
• 1/2 tsp garlic, crushed
• 1/2 tsp curry powder
• salt and pepper
• squeeze of lemon juice
  
  
  Method:

1. Cook the pasta according to packet instructions then set aside.
2. Whisk together all the dressing ingredients and mix with pasta once cooled.
3. Mix in remaining ingredients. I served mine alongside rocket and broccoli.

Holiday Guilt

I went to my first spin class of the year on Thursday and was, of course, exhausted about 10 minutes in.

At the end of the class, the instructor said something really interesting. He said everyone is so tired because we're feeling guilty about the food we ate over the holidays. At first this seemed like complete gibberish (like what do YOU know about what I've eaten) but then he explained. He said we're spending so much of our energy on guilt and negativity that it's sapping our energy levels to do other things. We think that working out is just about physical energy but it's affected by emotional energy as well. Given that I felt guilty throughout the holidays, I think his theory has some validity.

I am so ashamed to admit that I am going back to Weight Watchers this week. From the end of last year, my eating (or rather, my constant snacking) was getting out of control and took a turn for the worst in the December holidays. My heart jumped out my chest when I got on the scale just after Christmas and found that I was 5 kilos heavier than my goal weight. My stomach was so big that for a second I honestly thought I could be pregnant.

I feel like a complete failure for not being able to maintain my weight. It feels like I've thrown all my hard work in the garbage. It seems like I've moved 5 steps back.

Thankfully, since getting home and going back to my normal routine, I'm only 3 kilos over my goal weight. However, I still feel fat, my jeans are still tight, I still feel uncomfortable in my own skin.

I'm determined to get back to my goal this year but, as I've stated so many times before, every day is a struggle. I've watched a lot of documentaries where they say food is an addiction. I never really understood that until now. I eat constantly. Not because I'm hungry, not because I'm sad, I just eat to eat. I'm finally understanding the depths of the situation that weight loss maintenance is a lifelong battle.