Annoying things people say #5

So I'm walking out the gym after pilates and a swim, and the receptionist stops me.

Receptionist: Can I ask you something... you've lost a lot of weight, right?

Me: Yeah

Receptionist: So, how did you do it?

Me: Umm... well I'm here every day...

Receptionist: That's all?

Me: I've been eating healthier as well.

Receptionist: So no pills or anything??

You WORK at the gym, crazy lady. You know I'm here EVERY day. Why on earth would I be gyming my butt off if I were taking pills? Exercise and healthy eating - the commandments of weight loss - why would you believe otherwise?

30 Kilos Later

I've always been fat. I grew up as a squishy chubby-cheeked little girl and continued to gain more weight as I got older. I remember being teased by a class member in Grade 1. I remember dreading my visits to Little Gem for uniforms at the beginning of the school year... knowing I had to go two sizes up. I remember feeling like I was different from other people. 

Growing up larger than most, you develop a lot of strengths. You make a lot of friends, you develop your personality, you learn how to cope on your own. You also develop defenses - in your relationships, your fears, in the way you picture your future.

I honestly never thought I would or could ever lose this much weight. I never thought I'd start running. I never thought I'd be wearing shorts and sleeveless shirts. 

When I first started losing weight, I didn't have any expectations. I set a goal of 10% of my body weight and thought I would be happy with just that. Once I lost the first 10kgs... I knew I could do more. I realised I had the potential and the drive to lose much more weight. 

This week I reached the 30kg mark. I'm amazed. I have collar bones I never knew existed. After almost two years, I've reached a body weight I deem 'normal'. This is usually the part where you say "Thanks to the support of xyz I was able to this".

No. I did this all on my own. No-one cooked me healthy food, no-one forced me to go to gym, no-one held my hand. I own this achievement. 

For anyone out there trying to lose weight, I want you to know the truth - there are two sides to this coin. Firstly, losing weight does not make you happy. You feel lighter, healthier, more energetic - but it cannot make you happier. Over the last two years, I've had to come to terms with my emotional issues regarding weight and weight loss. It seems that sometimes your fat issues are simply replaced by new ones. Sometimes when people tell me how good I look, I can't help but think how awful I must have looked before. I step on the scale every. single. day. My stress about looking fat has been replaced by the fear of getting fat again.

That said, losing weight is also liberating. I'm no longer scared of doing sports or adventure activities. I can go to the shops and buy any clothing I like. I'm a more confident and brave person. Losing weight is a true test of your strength and determination. It's not as simple as "eat less, exercise more" - there's emotions, temptations, peer pressure, self-loathing... the list is endless. Weight loss has taught me to just deal with one day at a time - You messed up? It's fine, start over tomorrow. Progress is far greater than perfection.

Recipe: Sweet & Spicy Salmon

I LOVE fresh salmon. I would eat it morning, noon, and night if I could. This is a super simple weeknight recipe - it takes 10 mins to make and it's incredibly satisfying.

So easy... you literally just chuck all the ingredients - maple syrup, soy sauce, garlic, chili flakes - in a bowl and then the oven. If you like it really spicy, you can add more chili flakes.

Line a dish with foil and add the salmon with half the sauce. Remember to spray your foil. I always forget and have to scrape my salmon out the tin. Pop it in a 180º oven for 8 mins.

There you have it! Delicious sweet and spicy salmon. Serve with rice and pour the remaining sauce over.

Sweet & Spicy Salmon

Ingredients:

• 1½ tbs maple syrup
• 1 tbs soy sauce
• ½ tsp crushed garlic
• ¼ tsp chili flakes
• salt and pepper
• 1 piece of fresh salmon
• handful of coriander

For serving:

• Rice or cous cous
• Lemon wedges
• Salad

Method:

1. Preheat your oven to 180°C.  
2. Mix the maple syrup, soy sauce, garlic and chili flakes in a bowl. Add salt and pepper according to taste.
3. Line an oven dish with foil and add your salmon. Pour half the sauce over the fish.  
4. Put the fish in the oven for 8mins or until cooked to your liking.  
5. Place the fish on rice and pour the remaining sauce over.
6. Sprinkle the whole dish with fresh coriander.
   
   

Just focus on today

One of the hardest parts about being a weight loss veteran is trying to help people who are struggling when I haven't got it all figured out either. This morning my friend Micaela anxiously messaged asking if her weight loss efforts are ever going to pay off.

For a while I wasn't sure what to say. How do you reassure someone that everything will be okay? How do you make them understand that change doesn't happen in a day? How do you explain that, even after two years, it still isn't easy?

Then I remembered a video from my favourite blogger, Andie Mitchell. In a TEDx talk, she recalls a story where a sponsor asks "Do you think you can make it to the end of today? Forget tomorrow, forget next week, just focus on making it through today".

I completely forgot about how important those words are. This week I've been struggling with emotional eating - fluctuations between boredom and stress have resulted in mass consumption of Lays chips and ice cream. I'll put on a kilo and get in a tizzy thinking I'm sliding back into my old ways. This reminder from Andie came exactly at the right time.

I discovered this wonderful lady Andie Mitchell when I came across her post "What I miss from 135lbs ago". Her feelings are my feelings. She has an incredible gift of expressing her emotions and experiences in words - and you can relate to all of it. She inspired me to start this blog, and to try to express myself as she does.

So I reminded Micaela: You need to just focus on today. Don't worry about how much weight you will lose and when... Just focus on being healthy today. 

Annoying things people say #4

Friend: Oh my god Susan's lost so much weight!

Me: Yeah I know, she looks really good.

Friend: She was starving herself though, she'll put it back on in a year.

Sorry, what?

I felt my blood boiling and my face getting hot. I jumped across the table like an animal and pounced on my friend. While yanking her hair furiously, I yelled in my loudest banshee shriek "HOW DARE YOU UNDERMINE SUSAN'S JOURNEY?!"

Well, I wanted to do that.

Instead, I quietly reflected on what she'd just said. Are you saying she's weak? Are you saying she can't stick to her goals? Are you saying her journey is pointless? Are you saying I'M going to put all the weight back on in a year? Are you saying MY struggle has been worthless?

Previously, I too would have scoffed at Susan's weight loss attempts... but now I understand the struggle. I know how much effort and dedication it takes. I know how much emotional turmoil you go through. I know how much you need support rather than criticism. I know how much those hurtful words can eat away at your confidence. All I really want to say is: please stop shaming each other. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

Midweek Lunchbox

I saw this on Pinterest and just had to make my own version. I used a fresh sourdough loaf for the base of this delicious sandwich.

Side 1: Pesto Hummus, Baby Spinach, Watercress, Mozzarella

Side 2: Cucumber, Avocado, Green Chilli

The Skinny Rules

Last week was just one of those weeks when absolutely everything was falling apart. Emotionally and physically, I was not in it. I found myself trapped in this cycle of feeling guilty, eating badly, and not attending gym. Repeat. 

The theme for this week is: GET. YOUR SHIT. TOGETHER.

I have it in big letters on my bedroom cupboard. No more wallowing in self doubt. No more eating crap. No more idle walking on the treadmill. 

Often when I need fitspiration, I'll look back at my Heart Health pins. I came across these 20 Skinny Rules which, if followed in moderation, are actually pretty good. I'm certainly not going to start force feeding myself apples and berries, but they're good indicators to live by. One thing that really sticks out for me - RULE 18: Go To Bed Hungry. Last week, I fell into that old habit of late night snacking - the WORST thing to do when you're trying to lose weight. I found it also makes me feel fat and sluggish in the morning - definitely not a good way to start the day.

So this week - no more! I'm following these skinny rules.