Maintenance Update #2

I've been struggling to write this post because everything I think of sounds terrible. I've been re-reading my old posts and, to be honest, 6 months later I still feel the same. As one of my New Year resolutions, I said I would only step on the scale on Fridays. Guess what? After the last maintenance update I've been checking my weight every single day. If you're following my insta account, then you know my body fat percentage has gone from 22% in December to 25% in May. Not only was this hugely demotivating, but it made me paranoid that I'm moving backwards on this journey. My goal is still a body fat percentage of 20 (and I feel confident that I will reach it eventually) but every day is a struggle - often mingled with feelings of anxiety and guilt.

I still feel like I'm fat (or at least fatter than most people). Why is it that other people - who weigh the same as me or even more - have a completely flat stomach and I still have a flabby muffin top? I know we all have different bodies, but really? This seems unfair. I look at myself in the mirror and wonder how long it will take to undo 25 years of damage. Will I ever reach my goals?

Sometimes the most unexpected things upset me the most. When a friend says "you're so lame" after I refuse a shot. When a family member says "you're taking this too far". I might be overly sensitive, but those words play on my mind. I start to wonder if they're right... I wake up at 5 for gym and finish work at 6. I cook, I do dishes, I go to sleep. Repeat. I start to question what my life has become - Am I boring now? What do I do with my time? Do my friends even like me? I realise that many people won't understand my journey - and that's fine - but it still hurts when what I deem hard work is met with criticism and disdain.

What did I tell you? It all sounds terrible. It sounds as if between cooking, work, and the gym, I sit in my room weeping. This is not the case. After maintaining my goal weight for 6 months... I'm proud. I'm confident. I celebrate small victories.

I'm really happy with how my relationship with food has changed. It's the little things that I'm most proud of: knowing that I need a colourful plate of food with 50% veggies, eating a big breakfast full of healthy protein. I've changed my frame of mind from a life of indulgence to a life of balance. Well, I'm slowly getting there at least. I'm trying to eat when I'm hungry and not when I'm stressed, and not when I'm bored. I fail miserably a lot of the time but, the point is, I'm more aware of it now.

I like how I'm pushing my body. People love to comment "oh you're taking it too far, you're pushing yourself too much" but I'm doing things with my body that I never thought was possible for me. I never thought I'd start pole dancing, hanging upside down, and holding on for dear life with the back of my leg. It makes me feel brave and in control of my own life, and I think that's what people don't understand. My friends and family see it as fitness taking over my life, but I see it as me taking back control of my own health, body, and fitness.

I have this stuck on my fridge: Don't be scared to be alone. Goals are personal. No matter what issues I have regarding my family, my friends or my body image... I'm stronger than I was 6 months ago, I'm pushing harder, and that's all that matters.

Annoying things people say #6

A few weeks ago, I went to Durban for my uncle's 60th birthday. There were over 200 people in attendance so, needless to say, I hadn't seen some people for many years.

If you've read any of my other "annoying things" rants, then you know that people in Durban grind my gears. There must be something in the water that makes people say things that are just not okay. A brief snapshot:

Scene 1:

Dad's friend: So you're still training? When are you going to stop?

Me: Never, it's a part of my life now.

Dad's friend: But you've reached your peak. Aren't you getting obsessed now?

Scene 2:

Mom's friend: You look so beautiful, I can't get over it. You look like a completely different person!

Scene 3: 

Aunt: So how's your diet going?

Me: (at this point starting to lose my cool) I'm not on a diet.

Aunt: But you know what I mean, are you still on your eating plan?

Me: I'm not on an eating plan, this is my life. I eat like a normal person.

Aunt: Well you still look good so you must still be on your eating plan.

Scene 4: 

Everyone: You mustn't lose any more weight now.

Did I ask for your damn opinion?

Eat More Food

Can you believe that two years ago I didn't like avo? Now I literally can't live without it. If there was an apocalypse that wiped out all the avocados on earth... and I was forced to have dry avo-less toast in the mornings... I would probably give up my body to science rather than live an existence without that green goodness. Probably.

My point is... I gave avo another shot. When I was younger I think I didn't like the texture of it - I found it a little slimy. Now I try new produce all the time, and I try preparing foods I don't like in a different way. If you restrict your diet and eat the same thing all the time, you stand the risk of getting bored and eventually giving up. By eating a variety of different foods and experimenting with them, you have a higher chance of successfully changing your lifestyle and eating habits :)

5 tips to stick to your eating plan

30 kilos later... and at least once a week I'm asked the question "How did you do it?" There's no simple answer and there's no quick solution. To put it simply, it takes perseverance. That said, I have some tips that worked for me. I'm not saying they'll work for you - everyone has different diet habits - but I'd like to pass on any knowledge that might help :)

1. Don't drink your calories

Sodas, juices, ice tea - all full of sugar. The best thing to drink is water. Alcohol is another biggie - one glass of dry white contains up to 77 calories. If I do have wine, I choose a lite variety and add lots of ice.

2. Always eat breakfast

We've all heard the 'most important meal of the day speech' - well you know what? #TRUTH
When I wasn't eating breakfast, I would starve it out till about 11, at which point I resembled a zombie from The Walking Dead. My personal preference for a good breakfast is low GI seed bread with avo or egg.

3. Have a little junk food

I know what you're thinking... How can this retarded girl be telling me to eat junk food when I'm on a diet?? 
Well, in my version of healthy living you can eat everything. Yesterday I ate delicious greasy BACON CHEESE FRIES. Today? Back to healthy eating. Having just a little satisfies my craving so I have the motivation to keep going. I mean, a life without bacon is not worth living, right?

4. Get some sleep

If I'm out with friends, I start getting itchy feet by 11pm - God it's so late, I need to get to bed! When you're tired, you make bad food choices - you crave something carby and sugary to give you an energy boost. 8 hours - your body will thank you.

5. Stay active

Yeah yeah, I know the story... you had a rough day at work and now you just want to sink into the couch and watch junk TV. I know the feeling all too well. Even on the days I feel like that, I try to at least take a walk or do a chilled gym class. My problem? If I don't do any activity, I feel guilty and start eating the whole kitchen.