Maintenance Update

Since reaching my weight goal almost two months ago, I've put on almost two kilos.
I'm not trying to make excuses, but I believe this weight gain can be attributed to two major changes in my life:

1. I changed jobs

The new job is very demanding. Long hours, tight deadlines. I've been eating a LOT of snacks and especially sugary foods to pick me up at 5pm.

I only get home at 6.30 (at best). This means I cook late, eat late, and then sleep on a full stomach. It's the WORST thing you can do for weight maintenance - or even your health in general.

2. I've been doing weight training 5 days a week

This isn't permanent, thank god. Since January, my trainer has wanted us to get our strength back (post-festive season) and move up a level (get off the plateau). This means I've been getting up at 5 almost every single day to do strength training... and THAT means no time or energy for cardio.

I'm sad that I haven't quite managed to maintain my goal weight, but I'm happy I've recognized and addressed my issues before it can get any worse. By the end of March I'll be back to my evening cardio routine, and I plan to stop eating carbs past 5pm.

I've discovered how hard it can be to maintain your weight when you're super stressed - I get out of a 3 hour meeting and just want to stuff my face with all the carby sugary cheesy goodness this universe has to offer. You forget all your goals, you forget you're trying to stay healthy - all that your heart desires is to drown your problems in decadent indulgence. I have a long journey ahead of me and a LOT of learning to do.

What's your name again?

So there I am walking through the camp site of a local trance festival...

Me: Hey!! Devon! How are you??

Devon: Oh hey... I'm good, how are you?

Me: I'm great! *goes in for the hug*

[mid hug]

Devon: Sorry, what's your name again?

Me: Nikita

Devon: Nikita... OH! Craig's room mate Nikita! You look amazing! I didn't recognize you at all! I just thought you were one of those festival chicks!

Recipe: Skinny Chocolate Banana Pancakes

One of my favourite things to do while cooking is using up leftovers or food that's 5 to death. This recipe uses bananas - I hate it when they're old and bruised, but they work perfectly for pancakes! This clean eating breakfast treat is gluten-free, dairy-free and sugar-free, and the baking powder makes them super light and fluffy! :)

Skinny Chocolate Banana Pancakes
Makes: 7 pancakes

Ingredients:

• 1 banana
• 1 egg
• 1/4 cup natural peanut butter
• 1 tbs raw cacao powder
• 1 or 2 tbs maple syrup*
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1 tsp coconut oil for frying

Optional extras:
Cinnamon
Raisins
Nuts
Dark chocolate chunks
Raspberries

Method:

1. Cut your banana into slices and add to a medium-sized bowl. Mash the pieces with the back of a fork until there are no big pieces left.
2. Add the egg, peanut butter, cacao powder, maple syrup, vanilla, and baking powder to the bowl and whisk everything together. 
3. Stir in any optional extras (I added cinnamon, chopped pecan nuts, and dark chocolate chunks - yum!)
4. Add the coconut oil to a large frying pan on medium heat. Spoon a heaped tablespoon of batter onto your pan (mine fit three at once)
5. Cook for two minutes on each side or, flip over once little bubbles start to form on the surface of the batter.

Notes:
*This depends on how sweet you want your pancakes. I like mine sweet so I used two teaspoons.

New Year Resolutions

This week was my very last day at Weight Watchers. After you've reached your goal weight, you have to maintain it for 6 weeks to become a lifetime member. By some miracle, I have managed to maintain 54.8kg through a holiday of hotel buffets, very little exercise, and New Year's indulgence.

 

What better way to kick off the new year? Starting the year at a happy, healthy goal weight...
My immediate feeling, however, was not one of elation, but rather of fear. I've spent exactly two years of my life on Weight Watchers. Every Monday afternoon I would attend a weigh-in wearing the lightest clothing I could find and get on the scale with fingers crossed. What do I do now? How do I proceed to live a normal life?

I'm not usually one for new year's resolutions, but this year I'm making an exception. To help maintain my weight (and keep my sanity) I'm setting new goals to work towards. For starters, I want to change my habits at the gym. When I was still trying to lose, I would compulsively get on the scale every single day. I would get on pre-workout, post-workout, post-pee... I tried desperately to change the numbers flashing at me. So this year I'm only stepping on the scale on Fridays.

I'm also endeavouring to put more effort into my appearance. What's the use in losing all this weight but still keep my outdated baggy clothing? I'm trying to make calculated decisions when it comes to clothing purchases - no more baggy dresses, no more lace, no more drab colours. I'm trying to start a whole new wardrobe of mature, well-fitted clothing that will make me feel as different as I look.

My journey to clean eating has been a slow but steady process. Every now and then I'll stuff my face with oily, salty goodness (often referred to as chips), but for the most part I eat pretty well. Clean eating means avoiding refined, processed foods and rather eating real whole foods like lean proteins, whole grains, and plenty fruit and veg. This wonderful woman Shira Bocar is the goddess of delicious clean recipes and I hope to cook more like her this year.

Lastly, I have two main fitness goals:
1. To do a full wide-armed pull up without assistance.
2. To do a free handstand without the wall.
Seems easy enough? Well, it's not. You go try that handstand. It's a bitch.

7 Unexpectedly AWFUL things that happen when you lose weight

It's not all sunshine and roses on the other side.

1. You are more aware of your body and it's flaws than ever before. Before I lost the weight, I was just fat... there was nothing else wrong with me. Now I see the flabby arms, the wobbly belly, the stretch marks. Even on my skinny legs I see the fat when I'm sitting cross-legged.

2. You will need a push up bra. These holidays my mother said to me, "God you really are flat now." Thanks... real confidence-booster, Mom.

3. Your relationships change. The moment my ex said "I'm not making fitness a priority anymore" I knew we no longer had anything in common. I really enjoyed working out together as a couple and he just thought it was boring.

4. You overthink every compliment you get. "You look great now!" Wait, how the hell did I look before?

5. You start to feel that your weight loss is your only worth. My current whatsapp profile picture is one of me scuba diving. A friend commented on it - not about my experience scuba diving, not that it's a nice picture. What did she say? "Where was this taken? Your legs are so thin."

6. People think it's their right and their job to tell you what to do with your body. A really close friend of mine just won't let it go - apparently my ears look big now, my face looks gaunt, I'm taking the weight loss too far, and if I put on 10 kilos then I'll be perfect. I'm sorry you feel that way but it's MY body and I'm going to do what I want.

7. People think you're not as fun as you used to be - I don't really drink anymore, I sleep early, I make gym a priority on Saturday morning. For most people, that means you're boring as fuck.

Shape magazine perfectly summarised these feelings in their article 6 Stages of Weight Loss Grief

5 Unexpected things that happen when you lose weight

1. Certain food and drinks are too sweet for you now. I can NOT drink ciders or my old poison rum & coke. It's like eating sugar straight up.

2. Your clothes don't fit anymore. Yes, this one is obvious, but it still comes as a surprise! No matter how much you desperately cling to your favourites, you have to let them go sometime.

3. Even your rings and shoes no longer fit. Who knew you lost fat in your fingers?!

4. You feel the damn cold. All that blubber insulation is gone.

5. You can't stop checking out your muscles. Okay, so I don't have big scary guns or anything... but I have very defined calves and thighs. When your teenage cousin says, "Geez Nik, your legs are so dak!" then you must know.

My recent feature in BONA magazine. Aaaalll the legs.

Emotional Eating

My boyfriend and I broke up on Monday. It wasn't as bad as you're imagining. There were no hurt feelings, there was no screaming, there was no crying. But there was sadness. Yes, there was sadness... this person you shared your time, hopes, dreams, anger, and love with will no longer be there.

Simply knowing he won't be there anymore leaves me with a deep sense of loneliness - as if the world suddenly grew smaller and I've been shoved onto a small island. 

That being said, I also know I'm going to be okay. I've gone through worse and only grew stronger, wiser, and more independent. 

It's also made me acutely aware of my emotional eating habits. I've always known I gobble up feelings of loneliness or boredom, but yesterday I was able to notice it immediately. It's that sort of constant shoveling action from bowl to mouth (oh, who are we kidding? straight from the packet to mouth) where you don't even think or feel or taste... you just eat. 

Now that I'm more aware of it, perhaps I can pre-empt it. 

Although sometimes, just sometimes... you need to simply let go and gobble that brownie.