Annoying things people say #3

Durban peeps have no chill.

Family and friends have a tendency to speak their mind because, you know, "I'm family, so I can say it". Returning to my home town, I hadn't seen some family members for almost 6 months - like our helper Alina who has been with us from before I was born.

Me: Hi Alina, how are you?

Alina: Ahhh you lost weight!

Me: Haha yeah...

Alina: [reaches forward and grabs my left boob]
           Where are your boobies?!

Yes, what you have heard is true. When you start training, your boobs get smaller. I'm still not sure if I'm okay with this or not. The true irony of it all is that I had a breast reduction about 5 years ago. At the time, I really thought I was never going to lose weight and that a reduction was my only option for smaller breasts and a more comfortable life.

Relaying this story to a friend... she said if I hadn't had the reduction, I probably wouldn't have had the confidence to start gyming. Hell, I probably wouldn't have even fit into a sports bra. So even though I've lost my boobs now, it was that reduction that probably helped me change my life.

So I guess I managed to do something I thought was impossible. I discovered I can control and manage changes in my body. So if you look at it like that, dropping a cup size doesn't seem so bad, right?

Green Goddess Chicken Salad

Salad Challenge Day 5: 

Green Goddess Chicken Salad

For the salad:

- 1 piece of chicken (any chicken will do, I had a schnitzel at home so I used that) 

- 3/4 cup lettuce, shredded

- 1/4 cucumber, chopped

- 1/4 avo, chopped

- 1/2 carrot, grated

- a chunk of feta

For the dressing:

I used this amazing recipe for the creamy basil avocado dressing. I just added a pinch of sugar to cut the sharpness of the lime.

Method:

You know the deal with my salad recipes - just mix all the ingredients.

Corn Side Salad

On day 4 of the salad challenge I made aubergine burgers (a recipe for another day) and a corn side salad. Nothing special, but a salad is a salad :)

Salad Challenge Day 4: 

Corn Side Salad

Ingredients:

- 1 cooked corn, cut from the cob

- 1/4 cucumber, chopped

- a chunk of feta

Method:

Mix all the ingredients in a bowl. Tip: If you have time, remove the seed part in the cucumber's core. It prevents the salad from getting watery.

Chopped Chicken Salad

When cooking, I usually just chuck in a bunch of random ingredients and if it's good I have no idea how to recreate it. Therefore, the following measurements are a bit of guess work... I think if you know you like certain ingredients then add more :) For example, if you like a more spicy mustardy flavour, add more mustard. 200g of chicken is enough for 2 meals, so you have leftover for tomorrow :)

Salad Challenge Day 3: 

Chopped Chicken Salad

For the marinade:

- 200g chicken strips
- 2 tbsp fat free yogurt
- 1 tbsp lemon juice
- 1 tsp honey
- 1 tsp crushed garlic
- 1/2 tsp dijon mustard
- pinch of salt and pepper
- chilli flakes (use at your discretion)

For the salad:
- 3/4 cup lettuce, shredded
- 1/2 cooked corn, cut off the cob
- 1/4 avocado, chopped
- 1/2 tomato, chopped
- 1 spring onion, finely chopped
   I usually use red onion, but you use what you've got :)
- 1/4 cucumber, chopped
- a chunk of feta

For the dressing:
- 2 tsp olive oil
- 2 tsp lemon juice
- 1 tsp sugar
- pinch of salt and pepper

Method:

1. Mix the chicken with all the marinade ingredients and store in the fridge overnight. If you can't do overnight, let it marinade for at least two hours.
2. Add 2 tsp of olive oil to a non-stick frying pan. Add the chicken and fry on medium heat for about 7 minutes. If you had any leftover marinade, you can pour it on. Flip the chicken and cook for another 7 minutes, or until cooked through.
3. In the meantime, put all your chopped veggies in a bowl.
4. Lastly, put all the dressing ingredients in a cup and whisk with a fork.

Weight Loss Tip: Don't add all the dressing to the salad at once. Add a little as needed and save the rest for later.

Tomato Salad Snack

In case you haven't realised yet... almost all my recipes are single-serving. It's an art I've been perfecting for the last two years. Cooking smaller portions of food is so important for weight loss, especially if you have the magpie syndrome like I do - basically, you don't want any food to go to waste ever so you will consume it yourself.

Salad Challenge Day 2: 

Tomato Salad Snack

Ingredients:

- 1 tomato, chopped

- 1/2 tsp olive oil

- 1 tsp balsamic vinegar

- 2 basil leaves, shredded

- salt and pepper to taste

Method:

Mix all your ingredients in a bowl. Serve with two pieces of fried haloumi.

The Fat Kid

My dad has a penchant for milestone birthday videos. He has no skaam about what pictures to include in the video - three-year-old you in the bathtub, in bed wearing your rattiest holey t-shirt, and of course, that picture taken from a bad angle where you have like, three chins.

Today is my uncle's birthday so my dad put together pictures of him from childhood to now. I had never seen young versions of my aunt and uncle so it was an eye-opening experience. What I noticed is that most of my family members were quite skinny and gradually started to put on weight over time. I, on the other hand, was a fat child. I also started putting on more weight over time, but I was definitely fat from the start.

I can remember in Grade 1, this bitch Teval told me I couldn't play catches with her group because I was too fat. I don't remember much from age 5, but that has stuck with me all these years. It makes me wonder how my life would have been different if I wasn't always the fat girl in class. I can imagine I would have had more confidence... perhaps I would have played more sports... maybe I would have had better luck with boys... who knows what could have happened. The reality is, being fat made me unhappy, being unhappy made me eat, and eating made me fat - the cycle was never-ending.

We can't relive or change the past, but we can take control of our emotions. Being fat left me with a deep sense of distrust and vulnerability. You constantly feel like people are laughing at you, that you're worthless, and that no-one will ever want you. It still affects my relationships today. I am trying to let go of those thoughts. I often feel like I've gotten rid of them and that I'm a new confident woman, but then something happens to trigger those feelings and all the memories come flooding back.

It's just another struggle that you have to work on every single day - learning to trust people, to stop being cold and distant with strangers, to view yourself as strong and beautiful.


PS: I didn't abandon the Salad Challenge, I just haven't had time to post :)

The 5-Day Salad Challenge

After yesterday's abominable food decisions, I've decided to be a little more proactive and make sure I have ready-made meals for the week. The artery-clogging takeaway from yesterday has left me craving my greens so I'm posing a challenge to myself - to create different types of salads for at least 5 meals this week. That means any type of salad - cold, warm, asian, fruit, in a roll, on toast - anything goes.

Salad Challenge Day 1: 

Chilli Tuna Salad Wraps

Ingredients:

- 1 can of shredded tuna

- 1 medium carrot, grated

- 1 handful of lettuce leaves, shredded

- 1/4 avocado, chopped

- 1 heaped tsp low fat mayo

- 2 heaped tsp fat free plain yogurt
- 1 tsp lemon juice

- 1 chilli, finely chopped

- 1 whole grain wrap

Method:

Combine all your ingredients in a bowl. Place the mixture in the centre of the wrap, fold over, and cut in half. Tip: I only put the filling in my wrap at lunch time to prevent the whole thing from getting soggy.

Poor Life Choices

Sometimes you just have a bad day and make poor life choices. For instance, when you eat two helpings of the devil's nectar (otherwise known as dessert) after a rather large pasta lunch. On Monday you decide enough is enough, you just HAVE to have a salad for lunch. Silly you, you don't plan in advance so you have to buy lunch. By 12 you are so hungry you see food every time you close your eyes. The salad idea goes out the window and you opt for Chinese food to warm that vast empty pit (sometimes goes by the technical term 'stomach'). Alas, the restaurant is closed on Mondays. Instead of getting the hint the universe is giving you, you proceed to the crappy Chinese restaurant down the road, forgetting that their food is oily and has a bit of a weird flavour. Finally, you get back to the office... sit down with your crappy, greasy chow mein... and wish that you had ordered the salad.

Food Addiction

I realise what I posted two days ago was incredibly de-motivating, and I wish I could retract my statements and say it's all a lie - but I can't. The truth is, every now and then you will feel worthless, you will feel unmotivated, you will feel like giving up - and that's okay! We're human beings and these are normal feelings. I think what I've learnt is that you have to push through those feelings to get to the bigger issues - what is the real cause of my feelings of helplessness?

The way I've been viewing food is like alcoholism - one little slip-up and you descent into the foul depths of despair and cake. Food CAN be an addiction. It can make you lie awake at night pondering about pizza or chocolate, or pizza AND chocolate, or chocolate ON pizza... the list goes on. The mind can be a terrible thing - simultaneously giving you junk food cravings and feelings of desperation and helplessness. In my mind, I'm still a slave to the addiction - constantly beating down the sugar monster that dwells beneath. In reality, this is only half true - yes, every day is a struggle - but, you lost 20 kilos, bitch! I always fail to remember just how far I've come from what I used to be.

In an attempt to meld my old lifestyle with my new one, I'm going to make some changes. I'm going to pick one night of the week where I can completely let go - don't worry about gym, stay out late, drink (although maybe stay away from the neat tequila shots). At the same time, I'm going to try to give myself a break and stop feeling guilty every time I miss a gym session - I'm not going to let fears of reverting to my old chubby-cheeked self ruin my life now :)

When does it end?

I dropped two kilos this week, but I don't see it as a victory.

I practiced mindful eating, and it was amazing because I got full so quickly, but it was also horrible because it forced me to be alone with my thoughts. I'm realising that one of the main reasons I (and so many others) eat in front of the telly or PC, is because it distracts you from loneliness. For almost every meal this weekend, I laid out the table, sat alone, and slowly ate my food. It got to a point that I didn't even want to eat because I didn't want to experience that soul-crushing sense of emptiness. By Sunday, I had half a brownie for dinner and went straight to bed.

It makes me wonder... when will this journey be over? I've enjoyed a lot of it, but there are moments such as this where I wish I could just switch it off and be normal again. This weekend, for whatever reason, I pushed myself way too hard at gym. I was sore and broken and I kept on going. Is this to be my life forever? Constantly pushing harder and harder trying to reach an unattainable goal? Most of the time I'm so happy and content with my progress... and then I see not one, but TWO girls at gym with crop tops and perfectly sculpted abs. (Seriously, bitch? Stop flaunting your perfect body in front of me) I look at how much time and effort it's going to take me to get to that level and it feels impossible.

Early Sunday morning, as I was putting on a load of laundry and doing other household chores, my room mate arrived back from a night of partying. I stopped drinking because they're empty calories, I don't stay out too late so that I can gym the next morning, I turn down events because I feel out of place, and I wonder if it is all worth it.

Mindful Eating

 Pic: freeimages.com

When I was a child, I got banned from watching TV while eating breakfast because it would take me about an hour to eat half a bowl of chocos. Pepper-Ann and Doug were so enthralling that I forgot to eat. (Who does that? Forget to eat? The idea is ludicrous!)

Now I have the exact opposite problem. I can sit watching an episode of QI and next minute I realise all my food is gone. (What did it even taste like? I can barely remember)

So this week I'm trying to put a new way of eating into practice: Mindful Eating
This means you really have to take note of everything going on your plate from prep to finishing off the last bite. A few guidelines:

• Your main meal should have a protein and at least two veg. I struggle with this because when I think 'dinner' my mind immediately jumps to pasta, rice, roasted potatoes, more pasta. What I've tried to do this week is only buy protein and veg. If it's in the fridge, you have to eat it.
• No eating in front of the TV. My GOD I struggle with this. When you're eating alone what the hell else do you have to do? Will update you if I ever win this battle.
• Put your knife and fork down in between mouthfuls. This is such a simple one but I've never thought about it before. If you keep pausing between bites, your brain has more time to register that you're full.
• Don't go for seconds. THIS is a tough one, especially when you're at dinner parties or family gatherings. If you're at a buffet, you have to survey all the items, dish up what you want, and stick to that portion. It's tough at first, but you'll notice you're actually full from that first serving.
  
  

The idea is to eat slowly and savour the flavour of each bite of food. I've discovered it's incredibly difficult, but it's an interesting challenge in terms of self-discipline. Oh and another thing - if you don't like something, don't eat it! This seems like a reasonable assumption but I don't know how many times I've found myself chowing chips or a McD hamburger and thinking "this tastes gross" but carrying on. So learn from my mistakes and be mindful of everything you eat :)

Thanks Weight Watchers for these awesome tips!