The Hunchback of Northern Johannesburg

I've always had problems with posture. It's often attributed to a lack of self confidence - you hunch your shoulders to hide yourself. I suppose being overweight for 25 years has that effect.

In grade 3, my school principle (lovely woman apart from the spacial boundaries) would pull my shoulders back when she passed me in the halls.

From the day I started personal training, my trainer would tell me to stick my chest out and pull my shoulders back. If I don't, hello massive man traps.

In spinning, same story. Relax your shoulders. Yoga? Relax your shoulders, sit up tall. 

I'm really trying to get rid of this Quasimodo hump. When I stretch to touch my toes, I fully resemble the gentle giant from Notre Dame. 

I've noticed it a lot more recently. Not sure if I'm hunching even more or if I've simply become more aware of it. When I eventually notice how slouched my shoulders are, I can't believe I'm not mistaken for Igor more often.

I've asked many trainers what I can do to improve my posture and the advice remains constant - you need to actively pull your shoulders back and tuck your tail bone in. This is so much easier said than done but, short of taping my entire upper body, it's the only option. 

Recipe: One Pot Bean Bowl

It's been over a year since I started doing Meatless Mondays and I've really enjoyed the challenge of cooking veggie meals that don't involve the Holy Trinity (Pizza, Pasta and Potatoes!) Sometimes I spend hours making homemade falafels and hummus, and some days I just need a quick, easy meal after a long day at work. This is one of those recipes. I literally chucked some tins and spice in a pot and called it dinner. 

One Pot Bean Bowl

Tomato & Bean Sauce:

• 1 tin chopped tomato 
• 1 tin black beans
•  5 sundried tomatoes, chopped
•  1 tsp tomato paste
• 1 tsp chopped garlic
•  1 fresh chili, chopped
• 1 tsp cumin powder
• 1 tsp coriander powder
• 1 tsp sugar 
• handful of fresh basil and coriander, chopped

Method:

• Put all the ingredients in a small pot and bring to the boil. 
• Once boiling, turn down the heat and simmer for 15mins, stirring occasionally. 
• That's it! Serve with brown rice, lettuce and avocado.
  

Recipe: Mango Chicken Pasta Salad

Everyone loves convenience meals (especially from Woolworths) but they are DAMN pricey and full of hidden fats and sugar. One of my favs is their mango chicken pasta so I've re-created a (slightly) healthier version at home. This recipe makes one perfect single serving, enjoy! :)

Woolies Copycat Mango Chicken Pasta Salad with sweet curry dressing

Ingredients:

• 1 cup raw wholewheat pasta
• 1/2 cup cooked chicken, diced
• 1/2 cup mango, diced
• 2 celery sticks, finely chopped
• 1 tbs pumpkin seeds

For the dressing:

• 2 tbs fat free yogurt
• 1 tbs mayonnaise
• 1 tsp apricot jam
• 1/2 tsp garlic, crushed
• 1/2 tsp curry powder
• salt and pepper
• squeeze of lemon juice
  
  
  Method:

1. Cook the pasta according to packet instructions then set aside.
2. Whisk together all the dressing ingredients and mix with pasta once cooled.
3. Mix in remaining ingredients. I served mine alongside rocket and broccoli.

Holiday Guilt

I went to my first spin class of the year on Thursday and was, of course, exhausted about 10 minutes in.

At the end of the class, the instructor said something really interesting. He said everyone is so tired because we're feeling guilty about the food we ate over the holidays. At first this seemed like complete gibberish (like what do YOU know about what I've eaten) but then he explained. He said we're spending so much of our energy on guilt and negativity that it's sapping our energy levels to do other things. We think that working out is just about physical energy but it's affected by emotional energy as well. Given that I felt guilty throughout the holidays, I think his theory has some validity.

I am so ashamed to admit that I am going back to Weight Watchers this week. From the end of last year, my eating (or rather, my constant snacking) was getting out of control and took a turn for the worst in the December holidays. My heart jumped out my chest when I got on the scale just after Christmas and found that I was 5 kilos heavier than my goal weight. My stomach was so big that for a second I honestly thought I could be pregnant.

I feel like a complete failure for not being able to maintain my weight. It feels like I've thrown all my hard work in the garbage. It seems like I've moved 5 steps back.

Thankfully, since getting home and going back to my normal routine, I'm only 3 kilos over my goal weight. However, I still feel fat, my jeans are still tight, I still feel uncomfortable in my own skin.

I'm determined to get back to my goal this year but, as I've stated so many times before, every day is a struggle. I've watched a lot of documentaries where they say food is an addiction. I never really understood that until now. I eat constantly. Not because I'm hungry, not because I'm sad, I just eat to eat. I'm finally understanding the depths of the situation that weight loss maintenance is a lifelong battle.

Spinning

Can we please take a moment to talking about indoor cycling? It's been about 4 days since my last spin class and I'm 87% sure I've broken my vagina. As a woman I find those seats uncomfortable AF... so how on earth do men manage? Firstly, the seat is hard as a rock. Second, when you have to lean forward, the front end of the saddle is digging into your bits like some sort of medieval torture... and this is something people willing do for 45 minutes?

I used to think spin class was boring. I mean really, you're just sitting in the same place staring at the wall for an hour. Then I went to a class that actually had a fantastic instructor. There I am sweating buckets, feeling like I'm at max resistance and he says "that's the end of the warm up". To my great horror, I realise that only 5 minutes has passed. Cycling is a whole other level of cardiovascular fitness.

However, you have to wade through all the crap instructors to finally find a good one. One instructor I know has the musical taste of a 60 year old woman. He played DISCO INFERNO when we were meant to sprint and go our fastest. Do you know how difficult it is trying to ride fast to VH1 classics 70s disco boogie? Very. It's very difficult.

Some spinning studios try to make the experience "cool". I love (I say love, but what I really mean is I sarcastically laugh at) how they turn down the lights and have almost UV blue club type of lighting. What with the blue lighting and the disco jams, I felt like I was at a Mix FM decades party.

Blogger Sheryl Kraft came to a brilliant conclusion about spin class lighting:

3. They keep the room so dark because:
a). you can’t see if your neighbor is dead or alive
b). your neighbor can’t see you grimacing in pain from the fire you feel in your thighs
c). if you want to leave class early, you can’t, because you can’t find your way out.

I must say I agree... but for some bewildering unnatural reason, I'm keen for another spot of torture next week.

Bingo Wings

I have this problem... It seems inconsiderate assholes are somehow drawn to me, as if they can sense my insecurities from a mile away like a shark smells blood. A few weeks ago I found myself sitting on a bench in complete shock with a needle sticking out my arm (I give blood every few months at work).

Moments before...
The male nurse tightened a pressure cuff round my arm, and all the excess flab compressed into the uncanny resemblance of a squished marshmallow. He asked, "Were you always this size or did you lose weight?" I hesitantly replied, "I lost weight... Why? How do you know?"

He responded, "I can tell by your arms."
At this point I already had a needle jabbed in my vein so I couldn't get up to slap him across the face.

This man has obviously never had a girlfriend because then he'd know to not comment on a woman's body or to carry on putting his foot in it...

He continued, "You know how you can fix it... (oh please DO tell) ...with bicep curls."
I literally had no words for this man... he felt the need to criticize my body and tell me how to "fix" my imperfections.

So thanks, dickhead, for commenting on my hideous arms and making me feel even more self-conscious than I already am.

Recipe: Pumpkin Oat Pancakes

These pancakes are light and fluffy, healthy, and gluten-free. I topped mine with cashew cream, maple syrup, nuts and strawberries :)

Pumpkin Oat Pancakes with Cashew Cream

Ingredients:

• 1/2 cup rolled oats
• 1/2 cup cooked pumpkin
• 1/4 cup applesauce*
• 1/4 cup milk
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 2 eggs

Method:

1. Put the oats in a blender and whizz until you get a powdery consistency
2. Add the rest of your ingredients and blend until combined
3. In a non-stick pan, cook your pancakes over medium heat
4. Once little bubbles start to form, flip and cook the other side

*You can buy pre-made applesauce but I think it's easy and cleaner to make your own. You simply peel an apple, cut into pieces and boil with a little water. Once the apple is soft, blitz in a blender. 

How to make Cashew Cream:

1. Soak 1 cup raw cashews in water for 3 - 8 hours (I just soaked mine overnight)
2. Drain the cashews and put in a blender
3. Add 1/3 cup to 3/4 cup water (depending on how thick you want your cream)
4. Blend until smooth, scraping down the sides occasionally

You can add sweetener and vanilla to your cashew cream mixture, but I prefer to leave it plain so that I can use it sweet or savoury.

Dat Ass

I was out in Greenside with friends when an enibriated woman called me over. She whispered "You're my sister" What? "I'm like Khloe Kardashian and you look exactly like Kourtney so we're soul sisters" Okaaaay crazy lady... 

This is the FOURTH time someone has told me I look like Kourtney Kardashian. What is it? The hair, the smile? Personally, I don't really see it... and I'm not sure if it's a compliment or an insult. Are you saying I look hot AF... or are you saying I look like a hoe bag? I do think Kourtney is the better-looking of the lot (compared to sasquatch Khloe and plastic Kim) but I'm not sure I like being compared to a 2K.

It's the booty... isn't it? I swear to you my ass has grown a few centimeters in just 6 months (possibly due to the fact that my trainer threatens us with violence if we don't squat ass to grass). The other day I noticed a visible panty line. It's like my underwear has turned on me... giving me the air of a dumpy middle-aged math teacher who's clearly given up on life. Don't get me wrong... I love having strong legs and glutes, but my god one of these days my legs are going all Incredible Hulk on these skinny jeans.

Annoying things people say #7

I'm going to Durban for the weekend. Get ready for a tirade of venting. It has begun:

On the phone
Grandmother: So what do you want for lunch on Saturday?

Me: Anything... I'm not fussy

Grandmother: What can you eat now?

Me: I eat everything

Grandmother: Oh... you eat everything? How's your weight now?

Really?! I eat like a normal human being so I must be fat again??

Recipe: Veggie-packed Chicken Chili

Healthy Chicken Chili

Ingredients:

• 2 tbs olive oil
• 1 tsp cumin
• 1 tsp coriander powder
• 1 tsp chili powder (or more if you like it hot)
• 1 tsp sugar
• 2 x 400g cans diced tomato
• 1 x 400g can cooked black beans
• 2 garlic cloves, crushed
• 250g mushrooms, chopped (I used portabellini)
• Half an onion, diced
• 1 small potato, diced
• 1 green pepper, diced
• 2 cups baby spinach, chopped
• 2 cooked chicken breasts, shredded*
• Fresh parsley and coriander
• Salt and pepper 

*Check the recipe below for perfectly cooked chicken breasts

Method:

1. In a large pot, add 1 tbs olive oil, onions, and a pinch of salt and cook over medium heat until the onions are translucent. 
2. Add the potato, cumin, coriander powder, chili powder, and garlic. (At this stage you can throw in any other root veg you like. I had a bag of carrot and butternut lying around so I threw that in too)
3. Add the tomato, sugar, as well as 1 can full of water. (The sugar helps to round out the acidity of the tomato) 
4. Bring the mixture to a boil, then reduce the heat and simmer until root veg is cooked through (about an hour)
5. In the meantime, clean and dice your mushroom and peppers. Never rinse mushrooms - they absorb water. Simply brush off the dirt using a paper towel.
6. In a saucepan, cook the mushrooms with 1 tbs olive oil over medium heat. Season with salt and pepper and set aside.
7. Once your root veg is cooked, add in the diced peppers and beans. If the chili has reduced too much, add a bit more water. Simmer for another 20 mins. 
8. Almost there! Mix in the cooked mushrooms and chicken and take the pot off the heat.
9. Finally, add the baby spinach and a handful of chopped parsley and coriander. 

To serve:
You can add any traditional chili toppings you like (avo, salsa, grated cheese). I've topped mine with a dollop of greek yogurt as a healthier alternative to sour cream.

Ina Garten's perfectly cooked chicken breasts:

1. Preheat the oven to 180 degrees C.
2. Rub the chicken breasts (bone in, skin on) with olive oil and place them on a baking sheet. Sprinkle generously with salt and pepper. 
3. Roast the chicken for 35 to 40 minutes, until just cooked.
4. Once cool, discard the skin and shred the meat.
   

Maintenance Update #2

I've been struggling to write this post because everything I think of sounds terrible. I've been re-reading my old posts and, to be honest, 6 months later I still feel the same. As one of my New Year resolutions, I said I would only step on the scale on Fridays. Guess what? After the last maintenance update I've been checking my weight every single day. If you're following my insta account, then you know my body fat percentage has gone from 22% in December to 25% in May. Not only was this hugely demotivating, but it made me paranoid that I'm moving backwards on this journey. My goal is still a body fat percentage of 20 (and I feel confident that I will reach it eventually) but every day is a struggle - often mingled with feelings of anxiety and guilt.

I still feel like I'm fat (or at least fatter than most people). Why is it that other people - who weigh the same as me or even more - have a completely flat stomach and I still have a flabby muffin top? I know we all have different bodies, but really? This seems unfair. I look at myself in the mirror and wonder how long it will take to undo 25 years of damage. Will I ever reach my goals?

Sometimes the most unexpected things upset me the most. When a friend says "you're so lame" after I refuse a shot. When a family member says "you're taking this too far". I might be overly sensitive, but those words play on my mind. I start to wonder if they're right... I wake up at 5 for gym and finish work at 6. I cook, I do dishes, I go to sleep. Repeat. I start to question what my life has become - Am I boring now? What do I do with my time? Do my friends even like me? I realise that many people won't understand my journey - and that's fine - but it still hurts when what I deem hard work is met with criticism and disdain.

What did I tell you? It all sounds terrible. It sounds as if between cooking, work, and the gym, I sit in my room weeping. This is not the case. After maintaining my goal weight for 6 months... I'm proud. I'm confident. I celebrate small victories.

I'm really happy with how my relationship with food has changed. It's the little things that I'm most proud of: knowing that I need a colourful plate of food with 50% veggies, eating a big breakfast full of healthy protein. I've changed my frame of mind from a life of indulgence to a life of balance. Well, I'm slowly getting there at least. I'm trying to eat when I'm hungry and not when I'm stressed, and not when I'm bored. I fail miserably a lot of the time but, the point is, I'm more aware of it now.

I like how I'm pushing my body. People love to comment "oh you're taking it too far, you're pushing yourself too much" but I'm doing things with my body that I never thought was possible for me. I never thought I'd start pole dancing, hanging upside down, and holding on for dear life with the back of my leg. It makes me feel brave and in control of my own life, and I think that's what people don't understand. My friends and family see it as fitness taking over my life, but I see it as me taking back control of my own health, body, and fitness.

I have this stuck on my fridge: Don't be scared to be alone. Goals are personal. No matter what issues I have regarding my family, my friends or my body image... I'm stronger than I was 6 months ago, I'm pushing harder, and that's all that matters.

Swimming

For reasons unknown, I think it's still a good idea to go swimming in the middle of winter. The gym pool DOES have heating (so I'm not a complete madman) but it's still rather cold.

I dipped my right foot in. Fuck that's cold.

I hold onto the edge and lower myself in. Fuuuuuuck

Now fully in the pool, I've decided torture is not on the menu for today. 10 laps instead of 20.

I've never swum so fast in my life. In an attempt to warm myself up, I'm speeding freestyle across the pool.

Aaaargh my lungs, my heart. This is how I die...

Apparently when I swim fast I pretty much stop breathing.

Why did I eat so much?

Googled "Why did I eat so much"... was not disappointed with the results.

I feel you little guy, I feel you.

Annoying things people say #6

A few weeks ago, I went to Durban for my uncle's 60th birthday. There were over 200 people in attendance so, needless to say, I hadn't seen some people for many years.

If you've read any of my other "annoying things" rants, then you know that people in Durban grind my gears. There must be something in the water that makes people say things that are just not okay. A brief snapshot:

Scene 1:

Dad's friend: So you're still training? When are you going to stop?

Me: Never, it's a part of my life now.

Dad's friend: But you've reached your peak. Aren't you getting obsessed now?

Scene 2:

Mom's friend: You look so beautiful, I can't get over it. You look like a completely different person!

Scene 3: 

Aunt: So how's your diet going?

Me: (at this point starting to lose my cool) I'm not on a diet.

Aunt: But you know what I mean, are you still on your eating plan?

Me: I'm not on an eating plan, this is my life. I eat like a normal person.

Aunt: Well you still look good so you must still be on your eating plan.

Scene 4: 

Everyone: You mustn't lose any more weight now.

Did I ask for your damn opinion?

Eat More Food

Can you believe that two years ago I didn't like avo? Now I literally can't live without it. If there was an apocalypse that wiped out all the avocados on earth... and I was forced to have dry avo-less toast in the mornings... I would probably give up my body to science rather than live an existence without that green goodness. Probably.

My point is... I gave avo another shot. When I was younger I think I didn't like the texture of it - I found it a little slimy. Now I try new produce all the time, and I try preparing foods I don't like in a different way. If you restrict your diet and eat the same thing all the time, you stand the risk of getting bored and eventually giving up. By eating a variety of different foods and experimenting with them, you have a higher chance of successfully changing your lifestyle and eating habits :)

G&T on Insta!

Gym & Tonic is finally on Instagram! I'm posting everyday things from my new maintenance lifestyle - quick recipes, meal ideas, smoothies, and some fitspiration. 

Insta handle: @gym.and.tonic.blog

Recipe: Lighter Chicken Stroganoff

Looking for a quick and easy weeknight meal? Try this delicious creamy stroganoff (minus all the wine and sour cream)

Lighter Chicken Stroganoff 
Serves 2 

Ingredients:

• 1 tsp olive oil
• 4 boneless skinless chicken thighs*
• 1/2 small onion, thinly sliced
• 1/2 punnet button mushrooms, quartered
• 2 garlic gloves, crushed
• 1 cup chicken stock
• 2 tbs yogurt
• 1 tsp worcester sauce
• 1 tsp dijon mustard
• 1 tsp tomato paste
• Cayenne pepper or paprika 
• Salt and pepper

For serving:

• lemon wedge
• fresh parsley, chopped

Method:

1. Place the oil in a saucepan on medium heat. Once the pan is hot, add the chicken and brown for 2 minutes on each side.
2. Remove chicken from the pan and set aside. Add the onion to the pan and cook until translucent in colour.
3. Add the mushrooms and garlic and cook for another 5 minutes. Season with salt and pepper as you go.
4. Add the chicken stock to the pan and bring to the boil. 
5. Once boiling, add the mustard, worcester, and tomato paste. Put your chicken back in the pan and bring down to a simmer. 
6. Cook for 8 minutes, or until the chicken is cooked through. Add a pinch of cayenne pepper or paprika for extra heat if desired.
7. Take the pan off the heat and stir in the yogurt.
8. Serve with zoodles or brown rice. Top with a squeeze of lemon juice and fresh parsley.

Notes:
* You could use 2 chicken breasts instead - I just happened to have these on hand

Frankenstein food

Today is a public holiday and I'm currently sitting at the office, working on projects due tomorrow. In what could only have been a self-loathing, self-pitying fury, I ate an entire large packet of chips. They're called Chipi Multigrain Chips (basically a rip-off of Pringles) and they are - what Weight Watchers would call - my frankenstein food. 

Frankenstein foods are those terrible snacky-type foods that are impossible to stop eating at just one. We all have a particular weakness... and mine happens to be bizarre discount chips from Dischem.

Needless to say... I feel quite ill now.

Soy Milk and Whole Wheat Pasta

Last week I made a creamy mushroom pasta with...

Soy milk
Whole wheat pasta
NO butter

Who am I even?!

I never ever thought I'd be that person. I used to love that incredible velvety richness of full fat cream. Recently I've noticed that dairy products aren't agreeing with my body. Maybe they never did. Maybe I'm only noticing now because I'm more aware of what I put in my body.

When I first tasted whole wheat pasta, I loooaaathed the taste. In my eyes, nothing could replace that soft, delicate white linguine. However, in an effort to eat cleaner this year, I decided to ween myself off the white stuff. When I made pasta, I mixed a little whole wheat in with the white noodles. Each time, I added more and more whole wheat... and now I barely notice the difference. For anyone trying to get more fibre in your diet, this is the way to do it. Don't go cold turkey - make the change slowly and it'll stick.

I've never been a fan of brown rice either... challenge accepted :)

Maintenance Update

Since reaching my weight goal almost two months ago, I've put on almost two kilos.
I'm not trying to make excuses, but I believe this weight gain can be attributed to two major changes in my life:

1. I changed jobs

The new job is very demanding. Long hours, tight deadlines. I've been eating a LOT of snacks and especially sugary foods to pick me up at 5pm.

I only get home at 6.30 (at best). This means I cook late, eat late, and then sleep on a full stomach. It's the WORST thing you can do for weight maintenance - or even your health in general.

2. I've been doing weight training 5 days a week

This isn't permanent, thank god. Since January, my trainer has wanted us to get our strength back (post-festive season) and move up a level (get off the plateau). This means I've been getting up at 5 almost every single day to do strength training... and THAT means no time or energy for cardio.

I'm sad that I haven't quite managed to maintain my goal weight, but I'm happy I've recognized and addressed my issues before it can get any worse. By the end of March I'll be back to my evening cardio routine, and I plan to stop eating carbs past 5pm.

I've discovered how hard it can be to maintain your weight when you're super stressed - I get out of a 3 hour meeting and just want to stuff my face with all the carby sugary cheesy goodness this universe has to offer. You forget all your goals, you forget you're trying to stay healthy - all that your heart desires is to drown your problems in decadent indulgence. I have a long journey ahead of me and a LOT of learning to do.